Although Kato rejoined the group without trouble, they were evidently miffed by Mirabelle’s unannounced departure. Alice was the most visibly upset, expressing her concerns using some choice harsh words. Luckily, Evie eventually calmed her down enough to carry on with the last leg of their trip through the Bozz.
“Haaaai, we’ll go home on time.”
“We’ll probably go straight home afterwards. I’m pretty tired.”
“Here is your money for supper. Sisi is fortunate to not worry too much about the three of you, but get home safely all the same.”
The day ended uneventfully, with everyone waiting for their bus home. Since Sisi and Kato were on a mission, they were parting ways from the other three residents of the Habsburg flat. Of course, the home-goers would eat dinner together, minus Alice who had already left in one of her family’s limousines, not unlike Mirabelle’s departure.
The three other boys sat at the curb like they did in the morning, but this time, they were too tired to do anything inappropriate. They remained silent as they watched the long road that stretched towards the inner city. Without a word they passed their lollipops around to each other, business as usual.
In contrast, the girls stood diligently right at the bus stop’s metal pole. Attached to it at eye level was a plastic casing covering up the bus schedule inside it. Unlike the boys, they always seemed to have a topic of conversation and they filled the air with noise.
On the bench that Evie and Yui were sitting on in the morning, was now Kato and Bianca, watching their friends and family from afar. Bianca was still in Mirabelle’s pink outfit, but she already had her usual loose bun behind her head.
“How was Mira for you today?”
“No idea. I can’t get a peep of what goes on in her head.”
Bianca sighed at Kato’s despondent answer. She was torn because she felt relieved at his response when she shouldn’t be, but also sad that nothing seemed to have changed.
“Then what happened after the two of you left us?”
“You don’t know? Mira didn’t plan that part out with you?”
“I have an idea, but nothing more. It’s her prerogative, so to speak. Right?”
“Then how exactly did the two of you plan this out?”
“She didn’t explain this to you? Wow, she’s such a lazy bum.”
“I can tell you what happened if you explain to me your side of the story.”
Kato said as he put his arms across the bench, laid his head back onto the woodwork, eyes closed and facing the sky above. Bianca sighed again, this time with a hint of disapproval. It was best to take his offer before he internalized it and shut his mouth for good. Similarly, she stretched out her arms behind her, in a somewhat un-ladylike manner, definitely feeling the fatigue of walking around all day.
“It’s not very interesting. Mira came to me afterwards on Monday and retold how the two of you were flirting with each other at the playground.”
Kato furrowed his brows as he felt the words needle him at the heart, but he didn’t interrupt.
“She’s also my twin, so it’s only natural that she can come up with good ideas. It wasn’t bad, right? She wanted you to go on the Ferris wheel with her, and she needed a distraction for Evie, so swapping places with me became the plan.”
“But it shouldn’t have gone as easily as planned. By the next day, I’ve already given one of those tickets to Alice.”
“Yeah, we kinda needed to rethink that a bit, but luckily she was part of her little group with Mira and Evie, so it turned out better than expected. To make things even easier for us, your behaviour today gave her an easy reason to pull the two away from you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He said, bemused yet satisfied. She didn’t pull any punches, but that was expected from his old playground rival. Though thoroughly cutting, the familiarity of it gave him an unusual comfort.
“Ariel and Scarlett were already on board with it from day one, so there were no problems there either.”
“Then the biggest issue here is: what’s in it for you?”
“I spent the morning with you, didn’t I? That was my part of the deal.”
“Is that really it? I feel like that’s an unfair trade.”
Bianca turned to the deflated Kato next to her and saw that his eyes remained closed and expression unchanged.
“Why do you think that it’s an unfair trade?”
“So you thought it was fair?”
“What makes you think it has to be a fair trade?”
She shrugged at his non-response and replied with her own. Smiling lightly to herself, Bianca could see him making a face as if he ate something sour, satisfied that her words had the desired effect.
“Aight. Understood. My turn now, is it?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Kato didn’t move though. He continued to slump in his seat, feeling comfortable and unwilling to move out of it.
“I know I told you this yesterday, but it seems like you haven’t told her that I could already tell the difference between the two of you.”
“So you really could tell the difference.”
“You thought it was a joke?”
“Well, I still want to see it to believe it.”
“You didn’t even get to see it happen. Anyway, I figured out what happened the moment she spoke to me, but I didn’t let her know yet ‘cause I wanted to test her a bit.”
“Test her?”
“You knew we were going to the Ferris wheel, right? We passed by the souvenir stand we were at earlier.”
Bianca’s hand subconsciously held onto the little trinket in her pocket.
“And you didn’t expect me to tell her about it?”
“I thought the chances of that happening were low, so it was one way to catch her in the act red-handed.”
She tightened her grasp on the star-shaped metal accessory.
“And did you?”
“Sorta. She did let go of the act quick enough, but then she returned to being her usual self, which is very very very hard to deal with if you didn’t know.”
“Only for you.”
Bianca laughed as he made another sour face. Mirabelle always seemed to give Kato a hard time, every time.
“Then we were on the Ferris wheel for a while. We ended up talking more about you rather than the two of us. Well, it was Mira who did that. Any reason why?”
“What exactly happened?”
He peeked over to Bianca, who watched him expectantly.
“Hmm.”
Kato thought carefully. Contrary to her usual self, the Mirabelle he saw on the Ferris wheel today did not seem like someone who took joy in witnessing her plan unfold perfectly in front of her. She even went to the lengths of bribing the caretakers in advance as a part of her plan. If it was indeed Mirabelle who called the shots, then why did she feel like she needed to say those things?
Something happened in between Monday and today. That must have been the case. Otherwise, Mirabelle would never willingly show her weak side to Kato like this on her own. If so, then what could have eroded her confidence?
“Bia, y’know the song, Happy Ferris Wheel? I always thought that it was Mira’s favourite song, but it didn’t seem like she remembered it at all. Did she really change that much?”
“Huh? Really? She didn’t remember?”
Bianca was visibly surprised.
“Yeah. She used to love this song so much, but when I mentioned it she just kinda glossed over it as if it was nothing.”
“That doesn’t sound right. I mean, she only wanted to do this because this song made it all the more special to her.”
“That’s what I thought too, but I don’t know why her response was so mild.”
“Beats me. Are you sure she was paying attention to you?”
“Most definitely, I assure you.”
“I dunno about that, dude. That song was really well-liked, even for the rest of the crew. Can’t imagine her forgetting about it completely.”
Then, he was reminded of a crucial detail. It was true that this song romanticized the Ferris wheel for Mirabelle, but if that was the case…
“…then, Bia, you like this song a lot?”
“Yeah, I like that song. Why?”
“A favourite of yours too?”
“Of course it is. Stop being stupid, ye already know.”
“I do?”
“Hm?”
He did not know that. And from both their reactions, they assumed he did and that was why Mirabelle’s reaction was so muted and he was given the cold treatment for that answer.
That aside, Kato’s hunch was correct. As Bianca was a very faithful music student, she too probably loved that song as much as Mirabelle did, if not even more. And if she did, then she also had every reason to go on the Ferris wheel with him.
He sat up from the bench, no longer slouching. He didn’t mince his words, laying it out clearly in the open.
“Then why did you accept this kind of a request from Mira? Did you not want to go on the Ferris wheel with me?”
Bianca opened her mouth but she didn’t speak immediately, as if she couldn’t find any suitable words to answer with. Her hesitation was all that was needed to be said. Of course she wanted to.
“I didn’t think it would have mattered, so I let her go.”
“So you don’t want to go on the Ferris wheel with me?”
“No! I do! It’s just that, it wouldn’t matter in the end if I went. On the other hand, it would matter to her if Mira did.”
“What do you mean it would and wouldn’t matter? Where’s the difference?”
“Our crew’s gonna be together for only one more year, right? There’s not much time left, and it’s because this was her idea to begin with, not mine!”
“But neither of you would have memories of me after the end of this year! You’re just going to let that go? What kind of a reason is that?”
Bianca held her tongue, again not knowing what she should say. Kato continued, ignoring her unnatural lack of a retort.
“I just can’t believe that. I know you more than I know Mira, and you would never just let her have her way. This ain’t about me. It’s about the two of you.”
His aim had found its mark. For somebody who lived in Mirabelle’s perfect shadow for so long, and then to have rebelled against it in the past, Bianca wouldn’t just quietly put herself back into chains. Because she had yet to overcome this spectre completely, there was no reason for her to back down at this juncture.
However, at the time Bianca didn’t think of that, or rather, she didn’t want to think of that part of her strained relationship with Mirabelle. Instead, her original intentions were for the sake of the status quo, especially with regards to their little-now-large group of troublemakers. She tried her best to put the triangle between the three of them as secondary, but it seemed like the other two did not treat this situation that way. And she herself too, her determination to keep it that way had also faltered a few times when she was overwhelmed by her own desires, in spite of the fallout from two years ago that caused her to insist on maintaining this distance in the first place.
“So I can only think that you’ve got something from her in exchange for your help, right?”
She held her trembling hands together tightly. Somehow, the air was harder to breathe and her heart beat ever louder in her ears.
“No. It’s something I did for her without any strings attached. There’s nothing in it for me.”
Even though that was true in a sense, Bianca refused to make eye contact with Kato, who was staring at her beautiful figure in anticipation of a real response. However, he could only frown as she spoke those feeble words, and somehow inexplicably felt betrayed at her attempt to brush off his accusation.
“Then explain to me this. Why did Mira do the same thing you’re doing right now?”
Bianca froze. She only now realized that if Mirabelle broke down in front of Kato, as she was about to in this moment, then it would have been abundantly obvious to him that something was terribly amiss and her denial would quickly fall apart.
“What did she do?”
She murmured those words, almost afraid of having the question answered.
“She told me that I should choose you instead of her to take with me on the Ferris wheel. That to her, choosing you was the correct choice.”
Bianca closed her eyes as she heard what she feared. It was beyond doubt that Bianca and Mirabelle were hiding something from him, but at the same time, he felt awful to subject Bianca to this kind of scrutiny when he wasn’t willing to test Mirabelle to this extent.
Also under the shadow of two years ago, he felt especially terrible that time and again he needed to say things she didn’t want to hear, but he found himself unable to stay silent at this unfairness against him. If the twins really did decide on something to change the status quo between the three of them, then he had every right to do the same. Whether his intervention would bring them to where he wanted, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure where his heart laid in the first place.
“And what was your answer?”
“She cried as she said that, so I didn’t answer.”
She finally turned to look at Kato, tears welling up in her eyes. Mirabelle didn’t do anything wrong. It was Bianca’s short-sightedness that brought her to this point. She couldn’t foresee that Mirabelle would react that way and that Kato would have the courage to push her. He didn’t have the same awkwardness to him as he did two years ago. In fact, this more mature Kato kindled an ever-stronger passion in her to desire it, but her actions up to now might have cost her everything.
“And your conjecture is, that I’m the reason that she would say that?”
“There’s no one else besides you who can make her say something like that.”
However, Bianca was not the same from two years ago either. If it was her former self, she would have broken down right here and cried. She found a bit of solace in the fact that her perfect elder twin sister had let her emotions take over, and it calmed her down as much as it made her feel petty. She didn’t let her tears flow, and struggled to force out of her mouth a lie that she thought would protect all three of them.
“Unfortunately, I’m not sure what I’ve said would make her do that. I don’t think anything from me was that out of line.”
“…is that so?”
Looking away quietly, his purpose rapidly faded, leaving behind a cold and desolate expression. He was not allowed to have the truth, so what could he do? Flail out recklessly in desperation? He couldn’t make the same mistake again. He forced himself to let go of the spiteful feeling that was welling up from within, knowing fully that it would only bring further harm. In the end, nothing had changed, so he candidly decided to move on. Bianca was as strong-willed with her convictions as she ever was.
“Mm.”
Bianca fell silent as well, letting the tension between them hang in place. She didn’t know what to say either, other than to acknowledge his capitulation.
In this reprieve, she lamented on how it all had come to this. Like countless times before, she replayed the events of the past in her mind over and over, unable to let go. She wished she could jump back in time and redo that scene, with the firm but perhaps naïve belief that any other outcome would have been better than the one that had played out.
They watched their friends and family at the bus stop, who were oblivious to the discord on this bench. Time passed, flowing as smoothly as the falling sand of an hourglass.
“Bia! Let’s go!”
After what seemed like an eternity, a bus finally arrived to take passengers out of the park. Scarlett waved and called out to her sister, and to that both Bianca and Kato got up from their seats.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As she said her goodbye she didn’t turn to make eye contact, and instead merely waved with the back of her hand, unable to bring herself to face him. She began to walk in the direction of the idling bus, and her mind was in such a mess that she almost stumbled over herself.
“Bia.”
After she made some distance, he called out to her in earnest. She halted in place but she didn’t turn around, and only waited for Kato to finish.
“Next time, let’s go on the Ferris wheel together.”
Bianca felt as if her heart was twisted up and wrenched out by an invisible hand, and it hurt so much that her knees almost buckled. Of all the times he could give her hope, it had to be when her emotions were smothering her alive. She began walking again, but her thoughts were a thousand miles away in a hypothetical universe.
“Mm.”
She only nodded, and in no time she and the rest of the crew disappeared into the awaiting bus, which eventually left the turnabout noisily for the city, leaving Kato and Sisi behind at the side of the road. He couldn’t see her face as she left, leaving him in the dark about the intentions behind that affirmation. He wasn’t upset though, since at this point he couldn’t expect anything more. But what he could say was that Mirabelle was wrong. Bianca didn’t make a scene of it. She simply accepted his suggestion, pinning her impossible hopes on him time and again, knowing that none of it would live beyond this fateful year.